Wai Me!?

Father Linnane brilliantly summarized our trip and arrival.  I am honored that he thinks of me as a good traveler; he is also a terrific person to travel with. 

When I denied one of the in-flight meals because it consisted of seafood, which I do not eat (I know: I don't know what I'm missing!), Father discovered a small cheese and cracker component on his tray and immediately offered it to me.  I was struck at how he had not at all considered the act of giving.  Rather, he was just happy to have found something---a gift from elsewhere---that I might like.

This reminds me of all the goodness that surrounds us, and how easy it is for us not to notice it.  As I prepared to write this, this morning, I was reminded of the careful attention Rich Sigler and Amy Filardo put into a sort of Blogging for Dummies document that they put together for us.  It shows an imagination for what it might be like to be remote and blogging for a first time.  I was reminded of the flight attendant who learned of my seafood dislike and, without my asking, improvised a special course for me, including an adornment of the fast-noodle treat with a hibiscus flower, truffles, and, yes, cheese and crackers---a sort of Ramen-to-Amen moment.  I was reminded of the dozens of thoughtful wishes we received on our way out of town (including John Palmucci assuring me that Father is a good traveler!).

But, Why the "Wai Me!?"  The wai is a common way of greeting in Thailand.  To wai, one places their hands into a sort of prayer position, with fingers pointing skyward, near their mouth, then bows their head in salutation.  Typically, the person in a lesser hierarchically distinguished position (usually determined by age or profession) wais first; the other party then wais back.  The more distinguished a person is, the deeper the lowering of the waier's head, even to the point where, for a highly distinguished person, one's head goes completely below that of the person being waied.

This may sound like an obsession with social hierarchy, but it allows Thais to honor one another, and it symbolizes and contributes to their love of peace.  It is bad form to wai a person of lesser stature, for that disallows that person their ability to offer honor.  Through the whole transaction, parties are honoring one another mutually.

My first wai occurred as we boarded the Thai Airways aircraft.  Having read my culture/etiquette book, I was ready, and I waied back.  The flight attendant stopped and, smiling, told me that one should have their hands together when they wai; mine were filled with luggage. 

Through continual wai watching and through some tips shared by Father Nash, my waiing seemed to improve---well, I got more comfortable with it.  I read in my micro etiquette book that Thais are fine with Westerners' attempts to wai, even delighting in them, no matter how shaky they are.  Thailand is known as the Land of Smiles.

Following dinner, Father and I, bleary from the trip, decided to check out the gym before retiring.  Following a quick glanceover of the facilities, on the way out I was warmly waied by a beautiful host.  I took my time and returned my best wai.  She and her friends nodded and smiled, and she continued with, "Your wai is---so beautiful!"

Maybe I didn't nail it.  But, no matter its quality, the moment gave each of us a chance to recognize a shared goodness.

Right now, Thai time is 7:28 a.m.; my time is 8:29 p.m.  Off to the gym, then...wai time.

Tim

Comments

[Rich Sigler]

Hi Tim,

Thank you very much for your kind acknowledgment. Much credit for the blogging document also goes to Clare Cornett (class of 2008) and Stephen Shook (both of whom work with me in Web Initiatives). You and Father are natural bloggers! Reading your blog is very enjoyable – and indeed does carry your readers with you on your journey. After having spent the last hour trying to sooth my infant daughter to sleep while she screamed, I am in fact ready to join you halfway around the world. ;) I look forward to reading more.

Best, Rich Sigler